i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i love accidental penises.
love makes seman taste better
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
porn star boner night. come get it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
