just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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