She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize