At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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