If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
