Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
