coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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