I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
