New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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