so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
