Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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