I'm going to jail i love you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize