I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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