I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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