Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
