I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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