i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
