people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This baby is an asshole
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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