I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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