Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
