fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
