She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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