Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
