She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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