Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have aggressive nipples.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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