Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
