i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
