Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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