btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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