But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
