I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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