Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
