if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We left the knife in your bed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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