and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
