You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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