did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
