i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
