maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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