Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
