google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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