I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just cropdusted the office
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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