i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
why is half of my head shaved?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
