whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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