No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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