I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
