wrigley field is MILF paradise
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
