Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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