OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
