just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
