i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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