i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
