first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
