We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
