Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
