I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
