i love accidental penises.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
