So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
