My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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