You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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