what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
