But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
