I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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