yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize