we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize